I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
