I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
