Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize