dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
