when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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