i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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