Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
