I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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