Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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