you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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