Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
