Porn is love you can see.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
