There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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