Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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