who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't deserve a penis
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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