I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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