PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
