Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
