Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
