Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We have so much sex to catch up on
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
