First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
