You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
