well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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