It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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