He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
