My sheets look like a crime scene.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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