I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
