i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think pants incapable of making pants work
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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