i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The air taste purple.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
