It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
