Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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