Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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