so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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