I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
