Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
