i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
