my sisters under your porch take her home
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
