she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
