You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
