Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
as a side note pls kill me
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