I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
