here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
