Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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