3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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