Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
