I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
