do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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