if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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