I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we're so committed to being not committed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
