is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dick very happy bro
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
