meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My butt remains clenched, sir.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
