I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
