shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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