Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
