i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
