Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
