Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Randomize
