grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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