So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home