Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!