Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
