At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.