FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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