this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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