I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
