bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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